I Was Still Taking Off My Shoes When My Aunt Whispered, “Maybe Don’t Bring Up Your Job Situation -It’ll Depress The Kids.” I Just Smiled And Too A Seat. Later, My Cousin’s Fiancé…
My family mocked my tech career before I had even taken off my shoes, treating my work like something embarrassing to mention around the kids. I stayed quiet through the jokes—until one conversation at dinner pushed me far enough.
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My family mocked my tech career before I had even finished taking off my shoes at Aunt Lydia’s Thanksgiving gathering. She leaned toward me with her familiar tight smile and quietly suggested that I avoid discussing my “job situation” because it might depress the kids. I could have corrected her. Instead, I smiled, agreed not to ruin the festive mood, and walked into another family gathering where everyone seemed certain they understood my life.
My name is Erin, I’m thirty-four, and for the last decade I’ve been the co-founder of a tech company. Most of my relatives still think I do some vague computer work or build websites for money. They’ve never really asked. I stopped correcting them years ago because explaining funding rounds, startups, and venture capital to people determined not to understand became exhausting.
Thanksgiving had always required restraint. I wasn’t the doctor like my cousin Ellie or the civil engineer like my older brother Mark. I hadn’t married young, bought a suburban house, or given my parents grandchildren to brag about. Instead, I had quietly built something from scratch. Somehow, that made me the least impressive person in the room.
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I had driven six hours through sleet because Mom insisted everyone would be there, including my younger cousin Cody and his fiancée. Cody had always been the family’s golden boy—the charming relative whose accomplishments were celebrated loudly while his failures were conveniently forgotten.
The moment I entered Aunt Lydia’s decorated living room, I regretted coming. Kids were fighting over Mario Kart while the adults stood near the kitchen island with wine glasses, laughing loudly. Across the room, Cody stood beside his glamorous brunette fiancée.
He immediately called me over and asked whether I had finally made it out of my mother’s basement.
A few relatives laughed.
The joke wasn’t new. Cody had been recycling versions of it for years. What bothered me was how effortlessly everyone accepted the insult. I forced a smile and greeted him anyway.
Then he asked what I had been doing lately.
It was the familiar trap. I could explain what I actually did and derail the conversation, or give them the harmless answer they expected. I chose the second option and said I was still working with a couple of startups.
Cody smirked.
He asked whether “startups” was code for unemployed.
Aunt Lydia lightly warned him, but she was smiling too. Cody quickly claimed he was only joking before suggesting that maybe I was secretly building the next Google in my garage.
Everyone laughed again.
I laughed with them, although there was nothing funny about it.
That was how my family mocked my tech career: each insult arrived disguised as harmless teasing, allowing everyone to participate without admitting what they were doing.
Eventually, dinner was called. I found myself seated across from Cody and his fiancée. She looked directly at me and mentioned that Cody had told her I worked in tech too.
Before I could answer, Cody interrupted.
He described me as basically a freelancer doing occasional gigs.
This time, I put down my fork.
I told her I actually ran a company.
Cody laughed and challenged me to tell everyone its name. So I did: ByteNest. I explained that we built enterprise security solutions and had recently closed Series B funding.
For the first time that evening, Cody stopped laughing.
His fiancée looked impressed.
Then she proudly revealed that Cody had landed an interview with Everlock, an extremely competitive tech company.
I told him that was great news.
I also mentioned that I had met with Everlock’s board several times.
Cody looked at me, smirked, and delivered one more joke in front of everyone:
He doubted I could even get past their security.
